Let me just make sure we’re on the same page here. So, you’re into a guy, right? And I mean really, really into him. So into him that if he was to ask you to be his girlfriend you would jump up and down in excitement and say yes.
Am I doing good so far? Alright, perfect.
Now, the reason you’d be so super excited is because even though you’re really into him and he might kinda sorta be into you, you were never expecting him to be in a serious, committed relationship with you, even though that’s what you’re hoping for.
Still good? Let’s go on, then.
This guy, you like him so much that he is the only one you’re talking to. The only one you’re hooking up with. The only one you even think about. Correct? Well, are you his only one? Probably not.
He won’t take it any further than a casual hook up. You’re not seen together in public, and if you are, it’s strictly platonic. No one would think the two of you have ever done anything besides maybe high-five each other.
He doesn’t take you out. He doesn’t treat you to meals. He only hangs out with you in the comfort of your own home – or his – where there are walls dividing you from the outside world.
You’ve told him you’re into him or you’ve given him all the signs. He doesn’t seem to care, though.
Once in a while, he might do something that makes you fall all over again, just when you started to think you might be getting over him. It could be as simple as asking to hang out after a week of not talking.
Trust me, he knows when you’re starting to distance yourself. It’s like this weird thing guys have where they know they’re about to lose someone who’s convenient to them so they know they need to step up their game just enough to throw you off course and lead you back into their arms.
Okay, maybe that part is just a coincidence in some cases, but it sure as hell doesn’t always seem that way.
Regardless of what you do for him, or what you say to him. Nothing between you two ever changes. All this is for him is a casual hook up. You want more, so you’re sticking around waiting for more, even though you know he’s not currently ready for more. You think if you stick around long enough he’ll finally realize that you’re good for him and he’ll make you his girl, officially.
As much as this might suck to hear, he’s not going to make you his. If he wanted to commit to you, he would have already done so.
Many single guys are not ready for a relationship right now. They enjoy casual hook ups with no strings attached. They enjoy going out to bars and hitting on the first girl to catch their eye. They enjoy fooling around and not having anyone to report to at the end of the night.
Many single guys enjoy being single. They’re still young, they want to experience all that they can before they get tied down.
Now what I tell you next might anger you even more, but you need to know the truth. You know how I said many single guys enjoy being single? It’s true. They’re not looking for anything serious because they enjoy their casual hook ups, but – there’s always a but – if they find a girl that they think is different than the rest. A girl they don’t want to lose. They may tie her down.
Now you might wonder “well, he kept telling me he isn’t looking for anything serious right now, that’s why I keep waiting around for when he is.” He wasn’t lying. He wasn’t looking for anything serious with you or any of the other girls he was hooking up with. This one girl though, she had something special, in his eyes. Something you didn’t have. That’s why he tied her down even though he wasn’t looking for anything serious.
If you’re with a guy who doesn’t put in any effort for you, who doesn’t show that he genuinely cares about you, who makes you feel like you’re only good enough to be a casual hook up – leave him.
Let him go.
You’re better than that.
You’re worth more than that.
You will find someone who loves you and deserves you, but he is not the one.